The Unauthorized History Of Chain Snatching In Hip-Hop (August 2008)

July 24th, 2010 | Funny (Haha!), Peep My Photoshop Skiz-illz, Things I Edited | ncb | No Comments


Middle-aged white guys buy snazzy sports cars and flaunt them as if they’re chrome, fuel-injected, super-charged effigies of their now flaccid cocks. Rappers, on the other hand, buy gaudy medallions attached to equally gaudy links and rock them as if they’re platinum-and-gold-plated, diamond-encrusted effigies of their now flaccid cocks. So you can imagine how emasculated your favorite rapper feels when another rapper, or local stick-up kid, comes along, takes their shine, and leaks a picture or youtube video. It’s like they’re holding their penises (¡NH!) fully exposed for the world to see! Ay Carumba!

In any case, the latest incident of manhood snatching befell poor widdle Yung Berg while the diddy-bopper cruised the mean streets of Detroit (what he was doing wearing jewelry in the D, we don’t know either). Needless to say, Berg is probably somewhere licking his wounds. But cheer up, lil’ buddy! You just entered a club whose members include hip hop’s elite.

To boost Berg’s gloomy disposition, Complex combed the annals (ayo!) of hip hop history (along with rumors and allegations as well) to compile an authoritative list of the most notorious chain snatchings ever. To be fair to the victims and the vickers, we rated each incident by how emasculating it was to their careers, as well as the probability that the snatching actually happened (since almost none of the incidents can be verified by police reports) . If you don’t read this blog, you’re just robbing yourself.

Click here to start the snatchin’!

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